Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
