Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
