I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
