Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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