Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
