Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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