Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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