Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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