There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
My pussy is not your playground.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
