I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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