Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
