ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
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If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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