The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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