I didn't shave. On purpose
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
