Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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