No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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