pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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