dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize