Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I think your dad took our porno
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
