Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
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i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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