I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
