And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize