I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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