sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
