Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
