You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
