When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
