Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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