The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Randomize
