we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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