Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
