the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize