Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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