This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
bring money and cleavage
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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