Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
