if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
