hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
