Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
