I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
