you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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