Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym