The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
