help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.