Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
