Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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