dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize