DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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