She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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