Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize