Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize