PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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