Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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