I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
