Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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