Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
