I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it