OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
