i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
