I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
