i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
