my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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