dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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