Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
