So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
