it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
