I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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