I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
