I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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