big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
