Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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